...and it only took four months.

Like every Eldar player of low morals, I've conspired to field a three-man squadron of War Walkers, themselves wielding a six-strong arsenal of Scatter Lasers, all loitering next to a smirking Guide-seer. So it was generous (if not wise) for Necronoob and Synack to each buy me a Walker as a birthday gift. I already had one, and Zain60 compounded their error by giving me two spare Scatter Lasers and a fourth Walker- a 3rd-edition all-metal version, at that.

I haven't had time to build Zain's Walker, because it's taken me all the days between Labor Day and this one to finish the first three. I should have 2,000 points in time for the Mayan Apocalypse.  

But for now I'm content.  No more proxying tea-lights for the lithe war machines of an ancient race, even if blowing out candles to represent casualties would have made me smile.

So thanks to everyone - this unit is the manifestation of your generosity.

Squats! ...as Orks!

If you had a fully-realized collection of Warhammer 40K Squats sitting in front of you, what rules would use to represent them?

The first problem is that the Squat profile has no match in the current roster of 40K armies. Setting aside their low speed (they moved 3” per turn instead of the standard 4”), 2nd edition Squats were Toughness 4 and BS3 with armor 6. Their leadership was high, at 10.

Fifth Edition armies don’t cover this profile very well. Space Marines have T4 and a good Ld, but also a BS of 4 and, or course, armor 3. And the Witch Hunters are totally wrong, with their T3 and armor 3. Of our Imperial options, the Imperial Guard seem to be the closest fit. They have the right BS and armor, but the wrong Ld and toughness. The difference is huge – not only are you wounding the Squats more easily than you should, but they’re running away more easily.

...and these boys ain't runnin'.

You might forgive these shortfalls, owing to the Guard’s defensive mindset and heavy tanks. If the Guard don’t line up with the Squat profile, at least they match in function. Or do they? Any player of 2nd Edition Epic (the game called “Space Marine,”) will tell you that the Squats were a dauntingly aggressive force. They had their heavy vehicles – the infamous Land Train and their use of the Imperial Guard's Leviathan come to mind. But in this game they were an army of speed, with massive formations of bikes and trikes, and flyers in the form of fighters and dirigibles. Their heavy weapons were not typically on tanks, like the Guard, but on foot, in Thunderer squads where every man had a heavy weapon. There were no Leman Russ tanks, Chimeras, or Basilisks anywhere in the Squat arsenal, even in a game where such models existed and could have easily been co-opted for their use. Such a move would have made narrative sense (since the Squats were part of the Imperium with only a semi-autonomous government) and financial sense to GW (since they could have sold the existing Epic Imperial Guard tank range to the players of two armies). That these weapons were not used by the Squats means that GW saw them as something very different from the Guard.

So where is the nascent Squat army hiding, if not in the Guard codex or anywhere else in the Imperial stable? If we have to look outside the Imperium, then let’s turn the Heresy-meter to 11 and look at the Orks.

There are a few immediate problems with using the Ork Codex to represent Squats, so let’s address them first.

Orks, of course, have their abysmal BS of 2. Squats pride themselves on their gunnery, so this is a problem. Orks also have a Ld of 7, which hardly represents the steadfast Squats. And players generally consider Orks to be a close combat army. Despite their speed, this doesn’t line up with the Squat backstory.

But these problems have solutions – or at least some wrinkles that mitigate the issues.

Dakka!

Regarding the BS, it’s true that the Slugga Boy is a bad match. But a Shoota Boy is actually MORE accurate than BS3. Ten imaginary Squat riflemen with BS3 would land five hits. Ten Shoota Boys with their Str4 AP6 Assault2 shootas get 20 shots, 6.6 of which (1 in 3) hit. You can explain that accuracy through sheer volume of fire (as the Ork codex does), or perhaps as skilled gunners taking careful aim (as the Squats could). Orks have a Str4 gun instead of the Str3 lasguns the Squats used to carry, but remember that Squats always had the option to upgrade to a bolter. These “Squat bolters” are AP6 instead of the proper AP5, but they give that up in exchange for their higher “accuracy” mentioned above.

The Ork Ld of 7 is out of step with the traditional view of Squats, but this disregards the power of Mob Rule. Large Ork mobs are famously hard to stop. The Orks keep coming at you because they feel safe in numbers, but you could just as easily see this as stubborn Squats refusing to run in the face of danger.

Finally, can Squats work if they are using a close combat army? Fortunately, Orks don’t have to charge in, so neither do the Squats. Anyone who has faced a shooty Ork army, filled with Lootas and shoota boyz, can tell you that these armies work.

From here the correlations roll: Lootas become Thunderers, Koptas become Gyrocopters, warbuggies become trikes, (bikes stay bikes, nicely), The warboss is now a warlord, and his ever-present nobz become the Hearthguard. Put them in Mega-armor and viola!, you have exo-armor. Perhaps the Shokk Attak Gun becomes artillery, with the 2-wound Mek becoming a 2-man crew. Squats have plenty of techno-savvy, justifying the use of such varied Ork machines as dreads, kans, and stormboy jump-packs.

If I had some Squat models left, and if I wasn't already in possession of a sizable Ork force, I would be sorely tempted...

Unclean One of Greatness

wtf - daemons? Well yeah I have had a thing for Papa Nurgle since the Lost and the Damned book came out (note - the other book, Slaves to Darkness, was awesome too). If I could find good copies for less than $60 a piece I think I'd buy them. So I have some daemon models and I decided to take a break from 'Nids to strip and repaint them.

After letting the big guy sit in Simple Green for a few days the paint came off very nicely and I was able to get started.

First, I coughed on him. I was very sick at the time and I figured Nurgle would bless the model if it had a contagion on it. Then the normal priming, painting, drybrushing, etc.

A few problems I see:

1) I forgot to darken the inside of his mouth... oops. I'll go back and do that.

2) He looks just like I think a GUO should look but the colors are all so light they seem to wash out on the front. On the back they have better contrast because the details are better and more varied. Looks better from the rear? Hmmm better not go too far down that path.

Oh well I'll deal with it because I don't want to go back and fiddle with it any more and like I said - he looks just like a GUO should to me.

back to painting

Well not exactly my best effort but it's nice to get back to painting. It's so hard to find time these days with young kids. One day hopefully they'll be indoctrinated and will want to model too but until then I'll have to steal modeling time where I can. This latest batch is 4 warriors with deathspitters and scything talons and 1 warrior with a barbed strangler and scything talons. I'd like to find a way to get a 6th warrior in the unit but in the 1500 point army I'm aiming for the points are too scarce.

Deathspitters are incredibly versatile at S5 AP5 and with 3 shots apiece. AV10 has a lot to fear, and AV11 is in danger as well. It will be a good unit to outflank with once I can get a Hive Tyrant with the Hive Commander option.

Which brings me to... My next purchase is going to be a Hive Tyrant and some WHFB dragon wings. I plan on completely magnetizing the model including the wings in case I want to add some tyrant guards later and make him a walkrant instead of a flyrant.

Painting-wise my next project is 16 devil-gaunts. I already have them base coated so those should be done in just a couple of sessions.

If I can find the time.

Lining up a shot.

Already a veteran of two battles, my Fire Prism finally saw a paintbrush this week. Here's to hoping that a fully-painted tank has more luck in the field.
 

I originally considered a completely different color scheme, but after agonizing a bit, I stuck with the camo-like scheme used on the Wave Serpents and the War Walker. With three different Aspect Warriors in my force, the craftworld colors already felt a bit compromised. Painting the Prism a different color might have given me a confused-looking army. Instead I reversed the turret scheme to tan with green, and painted a few extra pieces (the vectored engines and the tabs around the intakes) tan, giving it a slightly lighter effect.

I was going to leave the barrel crystals transparent (as shown in the official shot here), but the glue frosted the interior of the large, two-part crystal in an ugly way, and I was forced to paint them. I'm happy with how it turned out, tho - the deep red makes a better contrast with the rest of the model, and the highlighting (ironically) makes them look more crystalline, in my opinion.

Zain60 disagrees with me, but I think the new Fire Prism model is an improvement over the old. The long, slender Prism Cannon is menacing but elegant, compared with the clunky, stubby crystal of the old model. And the vectored engines (the "floating" tan panels on the rear corners of the hull) give the tank more weight, as befits anything carrying such a massive gun.

Next up: Necronoob and Synack were each generous enough to give me a War Walker for my birthday, so two more Scatter Laser Walkers are next in the queue. With that done, I would actually be able to field the army I used against Zain60, without the egregious proxies!

Power of the Machine Spirit

I finally realize why, other than procrastination, it takes so long for me to get my army together. I can't let something go unpainted. And throwing a smidge of Boltgun Metal on it and gluing it in place just won't cut it. Nooo...You're covering all those details, and at the end of time C'thulhu will know you didn't paint the eagle on your tactical Marine breast plates.

The Power of the Machine Spirit needs a proper home, something the Emperor would even be proud of. Until we can get that, he'll have to settle for the best my meager painting skills can muster. I hope that a little extra attention to detail will lead to a little extra carnage on the battlefield.

Depending on how long it takes to get the rest ready for assembly, maybe I can work up some lighting on the inside.

Fratricide at 1,500 points: When Floating Tanks Attack!

My new friend zain60 (read his blog here) and I had our first game yesterday, a 1,500-point battle between rival Eldar craftworlds. It turns out we share a certain disdain for some of the scenarios in the Battle Missions book, and rather than risk wasting our afternoon on some contrived scenario, we went old-school. It was a straight-up battle for victory points with standard deployment rules - a four-by-six table with 12" deployment zones along long edges. The battlefield was fairly open ground interspersed with a few trees, hills, and ruins, as well as the ever-present (for us Knights) skull and Bridge to Nowhere.

I won the roll for selecting home turf, and chose the right side for its handy low hill for hiding my Fire Prism, and the three-story ruins as a firing point for my Pathfinders. I also won the roll for deployment order, and chose to deploy and move first - I wasn't looking forward to taking fire from two Prisms and a Guided gunboat Falcon before being able to respond.

12-oz Kingfishers were also deployed, in the name of Taste.

My deployment was straightforward. The Fire Prism sat behind its hill; the Fire Dragon Serpent was centrally placed behind the bridge, so that the Dragon's short-ranged guns could threaten anything on the board; the Dire Avenger Serpents filled in the gaps. I held my Scatter Laser War Walker squadron (with Ork Coptas as proxies - they're the same height) and a squad of six Striking Scorpions in reserve, ready to outflank when needed.

Here I thought I was being so very Eldar-y, with four floating tanks in a 1,500-point list. Zain showed me the true way of the Space Elves...

Six tanks! On my right (the near side in the photo above), a Fire Prism and an Avenger Wave Serpent sat behind trees. In the center he placed the second Fire Prism and the Falcon gunboat, complete with a Brightlance and a dedicated Guide-seer riding onboard. On my left, two more Wave Serpents, one carrying Storm Guardians with a Warlock, and the other carrying the ubiquitous Fire Dragons. Tucked in between these last two tanks was a six-man squad of Warp Spiders led by a Twin-Spinner Exarch.

Deployment ended with my Pathfinders. I changed plans at the last minute and placed them on the bridge rather than the ruined three-story building. Here they would have the same commanding view of the field, and could take first-turn shots at the only infantry targets on the board - Zain's Spiders.

Turn 1

The Avenger Wave Serpents rolled forward, even if they weren't sure what to shoot at with their Scatter Lasers. The Dragon Serpent driver was either feeling bold or had a wild disregard for his passengers, as he spun in the center of the field and told his charges to man-up and get out.

Good luck, fuckers!

The Pathfinders took aim and squeezed shots off at the Warp Spiders, killing two. The Fire Dragons and their ride let loose on the Falcon, but thanks to its Holo-field upgrade, they only managed to shake it. The Fire Prism hit the enemy Prism across from it, but failed to penetrate its armor. The remaining Serpents fired their Scatter Lasers ineffectively at the nearest tanks.

For his turn, Zain shifted to my left. The Stormies and the Dragons disembarked, and the Prism and Serpent on my right shifted slightly to see targets.

In the shooting phase, his Dragons blew the lasers off the nearby Avenger Serpent, and his central Prism wrecked the now-empty Dragon Serpent, presumably killing the errant driver (karma!). His central Fire Prism managed to shake my Prism, and a Brightlance Serpent blew the turret off the other Avenger Serpent.

There was no assault, but the Warp Spiders used their assault move to hide in the nearby cave.

There really were too many tanks.

Turn 2

Fortunately, the dice gods smiled on me, and both the Walkers and the Scorpions decided to join the battle from reserves on Turn 2. Furthermore, both units wandered in from my left side, where plenty of meaty targets awaited them. The Walkers came onto the far part of the left side, drawing a bead on the hiding Spiders. The Scorpions took stock of the situation and quickly decided to run a close combat clinic for the Storm Guardians.

The Dire Avengers in the Serpent on my left leaped out to fire into Zain's Fire Dragons. Sensing that there was no fight for Dire Avengers on the right side, where only a Serpent and a Prism lurked, the other Avenger Serpent shifted toward the center of the field. The Farseer broke off from his Fire Dragon guards, because he knows exactly what happens to Fire Dragons on Turn 2, and he wanted none of it.

Gunfire from the walkers killed two more Spiders, and the Scorpions' pistol-fire killed a few Guardians. My Fire Dragons in the center once again shook Zain's Falcon, preventing it from firing. The Fire Prism was shaken and couldn't fire, and the two surviving Serpents had both been neutered by Weapon Destroyed results. The Avengers and the Pathfinders both opened up on Zain's Fire Dragons, but despite all that firepower, they only managed to kill two.

Things went more smoothly in the Assault phase, where the Scorpions wiped out the Storm Guardians, and the Exarch used his Scorpion's Claw to destroy their Wave Serpent. Its detonation killed a Scorpion, but it was a small price to pay.

Hooray! Hmm...where's Steve?

On his turn, Zain's Dragons moved to face the encroaching Scorpions, while the remaining Warp Spiders and the Fire Prism prepared to make the Walker squadron pay dearly. His second Prism prepared to fire on my Prism again, and his Dragon Serpent shifted position to also fire at the Prism.

In the shooting phase, only one Scorpion bit the dust, and the Fire Prism managed to avoid being hit. The big losers of the turn were the War Walkers. Two were destroyed, and the third lost a Scatter Laser.

In the assault phase, the Warp Spiders moved back towards their nearby Fire Prism.

Turn 3

As the Scorpions menaced Zain's Fire Dragons and their Serpent, the last Walker lurched toward the two remaining Warp Spiders, killing one with its remaining laser. The central Dire Avengers re-boarded their weaponless Serpent and scooted away to safely reload, while my Fire Dragons moved closer to the perennially-shaken Falcon, firing at it and shaking it once again. The second Avenger Serpent shifted in the rear, bravely hiding from the looming Ynnead Fire Prisms.

In the Assault phase, my Fire Dragons reached the Falcon and finally finished it with their melta-bombs, leaving only a dazed Guide-seer in its place. The Scorpions charged into Zain's Fire Dragons and killed a few, winning the combat and running them down where they were trapped between a building and the hull of their tank. They consolidated to the wall of the nearby ruin.

In his turn, Zain's Dragon Serpent shifted back to face the last War Walker, stunning it with its Brightlances.  The last Warp Spider - the Exarch - moved to support his commander in the center of the table. Together they killed three, leaving only two men alive from the original squad of eight. One of Zain's Fire Prisms fired at the opposing Prism, shaking it. His second Prism and the Avenger Serpent both fired at the Pathfinders, but they were saved by their 2+ cover.

In the assault phase, Zain's Farseer charged into the two remaining Fire Dragons, but no wounds were dealt. His Spider Exarch moved into cover behind the large skull in the center of the board.

Turn 4

My Avenger Serpents shifted their positions to better take advantage of cover - with their turrets destroyed, and carrying only Dire Avengers, they were useless against Zain's remaining tanks. The War Walker had been stunned into inaction on the previous turn, the Fire Dragons were locked in close combat, and the Pathfinders, Farseer, and Fire Prism were perfectly content where they were. Only the Scorpions made an aggressive move, as they chased Zain's Dragon Serpent towards the table corner.

Having no other targets, the Pathfinders took aim at the Dragon Serpent's backside, and managed to shake it through the miracle of rending. In the assault phase, the Scorpions finally wrecked the same Serpent with their Exarch's powerfist. The Dragons and Zain's Farseer traded ineffective, limp-wristed slaps the way only irritated Eldar can.

For Zain's turn, his Avenger Serpent zoomed in to the center of the board, disgorging its Avengers to deal with the pesky Striking Scorpions. In the ensuing and inevitable Bladestorm, the poor Scorpions were killed to a man. The Spider Exarch moved forward and threatened my Farseer with his twin Death Spinners, but failed to wound.  The Fire Prisms had more luck, as they combined their firepower to blow the Prism Cannon off of my Fire Prism, rendering it near-useless.

Unsurprisingly, the Farseer and the Fire Dragons continued their pointless slap-fight. Rolling a d6, the Dice Gods decided that they were not satisfied with the slaughter, and dialed up another turn.

Turn 5

Sensing an opportunity to be useful, my central Avenger Serpent skidded to a halt in the center of the board and let its men out, to pounce on Zain's squad of exposed Avengers with their own Bladestorm. The Pathfinders also took aim, and together they killed all but three men. The second Avenger Serpent moved up, to be closer to the action in the event of a Turn 6.

The Assault phase was more of the same, with the Farseer and the Dragons still hurling insults at each other.

In response, Zain threw everything at my central Avengers. Between his remaining Avengers, the Spider Exarch, and both Fire Prisms, they were wiped out. (There really is no good way to pile out of a Serpent without begging your opponent to place a blast template over your head.) His Avenger Serpent again fired its Brightlance at the Pathfinders, but they again passed their generous 2+ cover save.

The Farseer and the Fire Dragons never did sort things out, and the game came to an end. Tallying up the points, Zain had scored 650 points, while I had 750. So, a marginal victory for my men.